Reforming in Your Mind
by FunkyWashingMachine
Summary: Lapis and Peridot down an entire batch of pot brownies in a single night
1. Chapter 1

The night had been quiet until the frantic banging on their door. Peridot was the first to reach it, opening it to reveal a highly-disheveled Amethyst accompanied by some strange items.

"Amethyst? What's going on?"

Amethyst practically doubled over sighing so loudly. "Thank GOD you're home!" she heaved. "You guys are my last hope!"

"Your last hope?" Peridot repeated with a touch of alarm.

"Yes!" Amethyst cried. "Listen. You guys know how to not kill a plant, right? Because I need you to plant-sit for me for a little while. Nothing too dramatic, I swear."

Peridot gave her an exasperated look. "Plant-sitting? Really?"

Amethyst held up one of the weird things she'd brought, a pot full of leafy stalks.

"Lil' Phil here!" she introduced buoyantly. "He's quiet, not too messy, and pretty friendly once he warms up to you!"

"Then why can't YOU keep him?"

Amethyst groaned.

"Uuuuugh! Because Pearl's been going on a cleaning kick and I can't let her find him! And Vidalia said she couldn't cover for me after LAST time…"

Lapis appeared behind Peridot.

"Why, what happened last time?" she asked suspiciously.

"NOTHING," Amethyst shouted, shoving Phil in their direction. "Nobody got arrested, nobody got permanently injured, and we all had some laughs! Well, most of us."

Peridot unwittingly took the proffered plant, staring incredulously at Amethyst.

"Oh, loosen up!" Amethyst prodded. "No one's going to come looking in a BARN for him! It'll be totally fine!"

"Umm…" Peridot hesitated.

"Come on, I even brought you a present!" Amethyst held up a plate of little brown squares.

"They're… cute," Lapis said indifferently.

"No, they're AWESOME! You'll thank me later!"

"Why? What are they?" Peridot asked, buckling under Phil's weight.

"They're things that you eat. Try them, you'll like 'em." Amethyst picked one up and stuffed it into her mouth.

"I'm not so sure about eating…" Peridot hemmed.

"Well, *I* am," Lapis took the plate. "Thanks."

"Oh! No, thank YOU!" Amethyst kissed Lapis' hand with a crumb-covered mouth. "I owe you guys! I'll make you more brownies sometime if you want!" She started away, hands in the air. "YES! Saved by the weirdos!"

"I didn't know you were so easily bribed," Peridot turned to Lapis as Amethyst hurried off.

Lapis chortled.

"You would be too if you liked food."

Peridot lowered Phil to the ground. He plopped with a little thump.

"Food just seems so… unnecessary. Why should I waste my time and resources creating it when it doesn't benefit me?"

Lapis picked up a brownie.

"Well, the work's done for you this time."

Peridot eyed the plate.

"Are YOU going to eat one?"

Lapis' response was one of a mouth full of brownie.

"Well, okay," Peridot blushed. She reached for a square. "They look like clumps of dirt."

"They're better than that," Lapis wiped her mouth. "Amethyst is right, you'll like them."

Peridot nipped a corner off the brownie.

"So, what do you think?" Lapis asked as Peridot chewed experimentally.

"Oh, please, Lapis, I can't make a definitive statement based on such a small sample size," Peridot said, swapping out the brownie with a different one and biting off another corner.

Lapis snorted.

"Peridot… I don't know where I would be without you."

"Eating a whole plate of brownies by yourself," Peridot suggested as she tested a third.

"I'd actually rather not."

Lapis smiled down at her, but Peridot was preoccupied with the brownies.

"Well. You must not be as fond of eating as you SAY you are." Peridot licked off her palm. "In any case, it would appear that these "brownies" are thus far more palatable than dirt."

"I'll say," Lapis said, munching on her second one. "You ARE going to swallow that, right?"

"Oh. Yes. Of course."

"So," Lapis ran one of Phil's leaves through her fingers, "Do you know how to not kill a plant?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's easy," Peridot said, having partially figured out the swallowing thing. "Earth creatures sleep at night, so what he needs right now is rest."

"Right."

Lapis picked up Phil and set him in the cozier of the barn's corners.

"And, just in case he gets cold…" Peridot rummaged up a little pink nightcap. "You'd think Amethyst would have provided one, seeing how worried she is about him!"

"Maybe we're just better plant-sitters," Lapis shrugged.

"Lapis, we are objectively better than Amethyst at a LOT of things. Phil's going to love it here!"

"I just hope he doesn't want to stay TOO long," Lapis glanced over.

"Oh, but look, Lapis!" Peridot said, having successfully behatted Phil, "He's hardly any trouble! I'd say our work with him is already done for the night!"

"Well, I never said it wasn't WORTH it," Lapis said into another brownie.

"Surprisingly, I have to agree with you," Peridot took one as well. "These "brownies" are certainly an interesting sensory experience."

"I guess… we should be polite and offer some to Phil," Lapis sighed.

"Well…" Peridot's face took on a crafty smile. "He'll never know what he missed if we finish them all before he wakes up…"


	2. Chapter 2

"Lapis. What even ARE hot dogs?"

"They're like PORK CHOPS… but they're DIFFERENT."

"Lapis. What even ARE pork chops?"

"They're like hot dogs… only REAL."

"Why aren't hot dogs real?"

"Because no one has them. We try… but there aren't any."

"Whoa. That's so sad."

"Only when you live in a material world."

They had been lying on the floor watching the ceiling for upwards of a half hour.

"You know what's WEIRD," Peridot declared rather than asked. "Fingers. There's so many THINGS that you touch with them."

Lapis raised a hand above them.

"I'm touching this moment. Are you watching?"

"No," Peridot said. She dropped to a whisper. "I think I'm floating. It's really special."

"Everything is special when you know what moment you're looking at."

"What moment are you looking at?"

"The moment where truth became wisdom and lies became forgotten. We're on the floor."

The ceiling was a beautiful thing, Earth wood lined with years of life, stars seeking them through the slats, the only thing that kept them from falling into space.

"Lapis, I think I'm a caterpillar. I'm so long. On the inside."

"I don't know what that is, but I bet it's amazing."

"It's an accordion."

They were more than that, they were motion, they were stillness, they were rhythm and flow and the thing that brought people together. Every breath was a life cycle; they were but humble beings filled with God. Lapis shivered.

"Peridot… did you ever feel like you were just a hollow shell, and someone came to fill you with beanbags and stuff so that you wouldn't blow away?"

"I need some bean bags, I'm floating on the ceiling."

Lapis thwumped an arm over Peridot.

"I'm your bean bag now. We're both on the ceiling."

"Wow… thanks," Peridot said, her eyes starting to tear up. "I've never had a bean bag before."

"That's because you've been living the wrong way. You've been putting all your bean bags in the wrong basket."

"I made ALL those shots, Lapis!"

"You're a basket. I'm a bean bag. It was meant to be like this." She pulled Peridot closer.

"Lapis… I don't know how I didn't see it before, but you're so DEEP."

"I'm an ocean made of time itself."

"I'm a bean bag," Peridot said with stoic determination.

"No, you're a basket."

"Right, I'm a basket with a bean bag. I KNOW the bean bag."

Peridot knew many things in that moment. But she didn't know why in her chest, beneath Lapis' hand, there was something alive, like a young Gem incubating in the bedrock. She awkwardly reached for Lapis' hand.

"Lapis, why weren't we always like this? Why were we so unhappy?"

"We were stupid." Lapis tightened her fingers around Peridot's. "We didn't let the facets inside our bodies breathe. When the other side of your gem is exposed to the air… it starts to taste things."

"Whoa. And there's no air to taste on Homeworld."

"Nope. It's an Earth thing. Earth is where you get hurt enough to turn your gem the other way."

"That sounds like… the opposite of ideal."

"Well, it hasn't been worth it until now," Lapis agreed. "It's like reforming… but in your MIND."

"Whoa…" Peridot chewed on the thought. "And no one on Homeworld will ever have this."

"That's because Homeworld doesn't know how to hurt in the right way… It's only you and me who know how."

Peridot turned to Lapis.

"Sometimes it really does feel like it's just you and me in the whole universe."

"It is," Lapis said. "Hotdogs come in a cryovac." She rolled onto her side and touched Peridot's cheek.

"Lapis. I just realized why they're called brownies."

"Guess I'm not the only deep one here." She kissed Peridot on the brow.

"No, but you keep getting deeper," Peridot said in a hush. "Pretty soon I won't be able to find you."

"Then stop floating."  
"I can't. It's gonna happen anyway." Peridot tucked up against Lapis with a little whimper.

"What are you so afraid of?" Lapis asked, running a hand through Peridot's hair.

"I'm afraid of losing who I'm supposed to be. And the pumpernickel."

"Who ARE you supposed to be?"

"I don't know anymore, Lapis. I only know who I WAS supposed to be."

"You made Gems before, right? Why don't you make YOU?"

"Lapis. That's so smart. I don't know what I would do without you."

"You would be making all kinds of Gems, but you'd never make the most important one of all."

Peridot blinked at her, impressed.

"Lapis, how did you know I was important? I didn't even tell you that."

"It's one of those things I can taste in the air." She pulled on Peridot's arm and licked her up to the elbow. "Yeah. Important."

Peridot lay dead-eyed for a moment before licking Lapis's face.

"Important is much less distinct than a brownie," she concluded.

Lapis wobblingly got to her feet.

"Peridot. Get up. We're going to make US."

Peridot tottered her way off the floor as Lapis dug through one of their piles of assorted junk.

"Oh. Excuse me, Phil," Peridot bumped into him before leaning against Lapis. "What are you doing?"

They stood with a heavy sway.

"I'm going to make myself out of Earth things. That way I can be from here."

"Whoa... I want to be from here, too," Peridot said, clutching Lapis' skirt for balance. She fell over upon reaching for a tin can.

"Haha, hey Lapis, look. I fell down."

"Yeah, you definitely – whoop!"

Lapis fell on top of her.

Peridot giggled. "You know what's funny? I was on the floor, and now YOU'RE on the floor." She reached an arm around Lapis. "We should just STAY here."

Her fingers brushed over the stone on Lapis' back.

"Yyyeeeeeeeack!" Lapis writhed. "Don't do that!"

"Huh? Why?"

"Your hand is made of snakes. It feels creepy."

"Lapis, I haven't even MADE my hand yet! It wasn't gonna be SNAKES." Peridot grabbed the nearest thing off the junk pile. "THIS is my hand now. My Earth hand." It was a broken alarm clock.

"All right," Lapis mused. "Mine's gonna be…" she perused the items for a moment before picking up a particularly grimy mop head. "This."

"Wow, you have so many fingers," Peridot observed.

"It's so I can touch more moments at once."

"Whoaaa. I bet Garnet has really big Earth hands."

"What does YOUR hand mean?"

"Oh. MY hand." Peridot held up the clock. "I don't know, it just felt special. Don't I get to be special?"

Lapis put the mop head over the clock.

"You are, Peridot."

"Lapis…" Peridot took Lapis' other hand, staring at her a bit incredulously. "You're wasting all your moment-fingers on me."

"I'm not wasting them," Lapis said, clutching the mop strings harder around the clock. "Don't you remember five minutes ago when you were important?"

"Oh yeah. But like… you're important too."

"You don't have enough data to say that. You only tried me once."

"My stars, you're right."

Peridot bent up and kissed her. There was nothing unimportant about it.

"Frankly, Lapis, it doesn't make sense that you're as important as you are."

"This isn't the moment about making sense," Lapis said. "It's the moment about FEELING sense."

Indeed, they had never felt such sense as they did there, two misplaced strangers who had fallen through time and space with nothing but each other to cling to, their frantic souls finally coalescing into a harmony like none on this planet or the last. They were rhythm and flow and the thing that brought people together.

Their Earth hands dropped to the floor as they moved closer.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh my gosh, LAPIS! He's gonna say it again! Wait – I AM THE EGGMAN!"

"Peridot… you're too loud."

"I AM THE WALRUS! COO COO CACHOO!"

They had retained enough dexterity between the two of them to turn on the scrapped clock radio.

"Peridot… you're gonna wake up Phil."

"OH! Right!" Peridot hushed up. "I guess I got a bit floated away. I didn't know that music could be so MEANINGFUL."

"I told you it would be."

"But you're not a logical thinker so I didn't believe you."

Lapis smiled bemusedly.

"You haven't been acting very logical tonight yourself."

"What are you talking about?" Peridot held up one of the night's projects, a conglomerate item of red and gold and purple. "The Rigabamboo is a highly functional thing to have! Percy would have WON the canoe race if he'd had one, remember?"

"What about the… that thing, the paint can thing?"

"Oh well THAT is different, Lapis! It's the combination of logic and emotion into something that transcends both of them."

It was a paint can inside another paint can. One had to break to fit the other. It was "Emotion" that was seeping yellow all over the floor.

"Emotion holds Logic," Peridot explained. "When Emotion holds Logic, things are logically better."

"It's oozing."

"And I don't see YOU doing anything about it, Miss Mop-Fingers!" Peridot slurred.

"Just look at it, Peridot. Emotion can't FIT Logic." Lapis swept a finger through the puddle.

"Lapis, you don't understand this AT ALL. I came up with something great, and you're ruining it."

Lapis dotted Peridot's nose.

"No… I think it means more than you think it does," she said. "Just like music."

"It IS music, Lapis. It's music in solid form."

Lapis smiled. It was cute… a Peridot trying to wrangle with the abstract. Doing everything to make tangible an intangible concept.

"I think we should call it… meep morp."

"What a wonderfully descriptive word," Peridot approved.

Lapis absently dragged the paint across Peridot's face. Their Earth hands lay together on the ground, wet from the spreading tide that was Emotion.

The old clock radio warbled on with a prosaic interlude. "You're listening to WDMV, Delmarva's favorite radio station, bringing you back to the Sixties for your late-night stoning session…"

"Pff! Humans, thinking they know things about stones…" Peridot tittered.

"…about to hear from Peter, Paul, and the late Mary Travers…" the radio kept going.

"And of course the humans are NEVER on time, either."

"Oh, Peridot… you can't blame the humans for being bad with time." Lapis picked up the paint-dripping mop as the music started again. "They have so many moments to pick from but so few fingers to hold them with."

Peridot thought for a moment.

"I suppose their existence does have a certain tragedy about it."

The radio beside them agreed, humming with strings and human tragedy. It sang of trains and whistles and being in that unsettlingly familiar place called 'gone.' "…Lord, I'm three, Lord, I'm four, Lord, I'm five hundred miles from my home…"

Peridot wiped her chin to find Emotion dripping down, translucent yellow. It hadn't been like that before.

"I wish *I* was five hundred miles from home."

She looked over, suddenly tired. Lapis was staring through the ceiling, fingers squeezing the paint out of her Earth hand. Only when an audible sniff escaped Peridot did Lapis turn to her.

There were no words. There was only the mutual shame of being seen that way, weak, guardless. Lapis dropped the mop head and wrapped Peridot in her arms. The two of them became one quaking mess of yellow streaks.

"…Lord, I can't go home this-a way…" sang Peter, Paul, and the not-on-time Mary Travers. This was the hurting it took to taste the air, to turn your gem around. That specific brand of pain that only grew on the planet Earth. They had paid, but not in full. Peridot tightened herself around Lapis.

"Lapis… I don't think I like music after all."

"Hush now."

Lapis pressed her lips to Peridot's gem.

The thing that brought people together… it had more than one name, but one of those names was hurt. Yet, it wasn't without its worth. The very point of contact between them was a morp, their bodies together were another. They were a live piece colored with a liquid stain whose name was a secret to all but them. If there was no logic between them, at least there was something beautiful.

The song eventually went quiet, but they didn't let go.


End file.
